Inspired by my recent personal surf of grief and joy in Scorpio season, & by the beautiful gifts of insights partaking in the Global Joy Summit this week – this is my love note to Self, the dreamweaving Joy Alchemist I BE, welcoming you to enter this field of feels with me <3
“discovering more joy doesn’t not save us from the inevitability of hardship and heartbreak, In fact we may cry more easily, but we will laugh more easily too. Perhaps, we are just more alive. Yet as we discover more joy, we can face suffering in a way that ennobles and elevates rather than enbitter us. We have hardship without being hard, we have heartbreak, without being broken.“ – The book of joy, archbishop desmond tutu
There is life within death, sorrow within joy, pain along with pleasure, in full spectrum of this Living.
We don’t meet ourselves, each other Life fully, without Embracing the wholeness of this humanity, which gives us the deepest treasures of cherishing this precious gift called Life.
To hold space for receiving Grief, is relieving pain.
Grief hit me hard a few days ago. It came as a surprise, like an unstoppable tidal wave stirred awake by the diverse movements of a fierce ocean.
I had been in different conversations with 2 soul sisters that same day, who were navigating grief, sorrow, sadness in their own personal stories of life. One of them was yearning for deeper soul connections in fellowship in person, while feeling the familiar grief of the loss of her angel baby many years ago, while another was feeling the sadness of times lost for choosing a path that didn’t serve her highest and greatest joy and well being.
UBUNTU: the African philosophy of “I AM BECAUSE WE ARE” – When I know your heart is broken, it does something to me. When I feel the devastation and destruction of life on Earth no matter the continent, nation, land, body – it does something to me.
By entering their field of grief with them, I had touched my own, unbeknownst to how deeply it would reach me then, later.
I made lunch and was having a meal with my love, and the nerve of grief got triggered by the topic / feeling of “friends”, and the floodgates opened. I started tearing up, crying, sobbing, meeting sadness & sorrow head and heart on.
This aspect within my deep sea of feelings, was mixing and merged with a variety of different ways grief was and has been part of my experience in the past days, months, years.
Changes arising and in the now, as the death of an old era is given space to be honoured and felt
This grief contained these currents:
<3 LOSS OF OLD LIFE AND ITS EXPERIENCES, RHYTHMS – the Singapore, Koh Panghan shaped self and the ways she was, where she was, who she was with, what she was doing ; deeply feeling the sense of loss to a life I had before in my friendships, relationships, to people & places. I missed my parents, my blood family, soul family, loved ones and friends (Singapore, Hong Kong, Koh Panghan). I missed the community I had grown so attached and accustomed to. I missed solo sunsets praises by the ocean, the waterfalls, Charlotte my chariot bike who would take me on island adventures while I sang praises of the day, I missed interacting with the warmth of Thai mamas, sweet vendors and business owners I frequented, i missed dropping by at friends’ houses for tea, cooking meals together, holding and being held by ones I’ve grown to love so deeply over the years of living and being in Koh Panghan.
<3 THE WAYS MOTHER EARTH HAS BEEN TAKEN FOR GRANTED by us, the collective human family, and how many suffer because of it (humanity, ecology, nature) now because of the repercussions of our carelessness: disasters, floods, droughts, climate chaos: mass migration, homelessness, starvation, extinction of species, the list seems so large, endless.
<3 SELF BETRAYAL, ABUSE how I have had over time, for so long, been so immersed in the people pleasing club, and therefore disregarded and betrayed myself in the cultivation of my own well being, in service to the whole.
<3 ACTS & ATROCITIES AGAINST HUMANITY – feeling the immense impact of the suffering of our people, through the evils that walk this earth – the abuse & pillaging of our children, our women, the men too.
I cried for myself, my friends, for strangers, for Mother, for Life.
It took me by surprise, the rivers of this inner ocean was running wild, and I welcomed it all, with tender hearted curiosity, and compassionate love.
I went into bed, curled up, breathed deep, talked to the grief with kindness, and cried some more.
EMBRACING GRIEF, UNCOVERING JOY, EXPANDING GRATITUDE
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls, the most massive characters are seared with scars.” – Khalil Gibran
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” – Helen Keller
In processing this grief for the last couple of days, I’ve touched many enriching deep moments of JOY, PLEASURE, ECSTASY too. I’ve kept my heart open to receive it all.
Black cats playing in snow. \\ Ice cream. \\ Love making. \\ Swimming in warm waters. \\ Hearing birds chirping in the rain and melting snow. \\ Stillness \\ Listening to Music. \\ Drawing \\ The sound of laughter. \\ The voices of people I love. \\ Chai. \\ The smells of a homemade meal being prepared. \\ Bathtime. \\ the feeling of adventure \\ gathering in circle and prayer with others \\ Singing \\ Dancing \\ Candlelight. \\ Kissing.
I am remembering again:
- I am a human being, fallible and imperfect
- I have done my best, and continue to do so
- This ever changing evolving Life will bring us lessons and reminders to test our courage, resilience, kindness, love
- I know when I know better, I can do better
- Serenity is not readymade. It is dedicating time and space to practice prayer, stillness, contemplation, that gentleness and compassion grows, the ways muscles in the body need to be toned to get strong
- Joy is an inherent quality that is within all of us. Always abiding, ceaseless, ever present.
- I am, as we each and all are, responsible for the change we wish to see in the world: I want more peace/love/joy/magic/beauty/harmony, I explore, experiment embody and express it all.
CHOOSING JOY: WHY JOY IS VITAL FOR OUR SURTHRIVAL, ALONE & TOGETHER.
UBUNTU: I AM BECAUSE WE ARE.
In the overstimulation of information of today’s world that’s been largely bringing our attention, eyes and focus on fear based changes, with the actions of the 1% influencing global decisions based on separation – our REVOLUTION OF THESE TIMES are about DOING THE EXACT OPPOSITE.
This week I ran an online circle with about 20 of us sitting and sharing in an intentional healing prayer space. There was a heightened sense of connection, to self, with each other, to the Earth, and all things.
We smiled, paused, praised, dreamt together. The energy of JOY, GRATITUDE, GOODNESS, BEAUTY, LOVE was so palpable I still remember it in my bones as I write about it now.
It is time to
<3 RISE UP TO PERSONAL AND COLLECTIVE LEADERSHIP TO TAKE CHARGE OF (Y)OUR OWN WELL BEING
No one is here to make you happy, or save & dream the best life for you but yourself.
Your body, your choice. Your voice, your power. Your life, your creation.
<3 CHOOSING JOY AS SACRED ACTIVISM
In this collapsing world that works tirelessly to distract & detract us from being PRESENT to the simple profound gifts of life, choosing to be happy, grateful, blissful is a revolutionary act against these systems!
<3 COMMUNITY; GATHERING IN CIRCLES, REMEMBERING THE POWER WE ARE AND CAN BE TOGETHER
Lean in, let yourself feel the strength of the collective! Coming back to the ancient ancestral ways, before the industrialization era, before the culture of consumption overtook our original ways of honouring, preserving, protecting, caring for Life TOGETHER.
Fundamentally, WE ARE THE SAME:
- vulnerable to pain, fear, unhappiness
- aspiring to be safe, happy, healthy
- to seek, connection, to find meaning,
- to come home, to love
It doesn’t matter where you come from, our shared human condition reveal to us our interconnection.
And coming together in our shared common humanity helps to alleviate our suffering, amplify our joy, magnify LOVE together, it helps us in feeling connected & remember a sense of belonging – which is so impt for our happiness, our sense of peace and well being. – when we feel cut off, isolated and alone – it compromises our happiness.
<3 <3 <3
I envision creating a much better society, culture, community, world, and leaving a much better place for our children to thrive, and I know it will take all of us to join in and DO IT TOGETHER.
Thank you for doing your part, dear ones.
If you’ve reached this point of the writing, I salute & celebrate your tenacity, patience, connection to this heart of LOVE I’m galvanizing for us to rise up into TOGETHER.
MAY LOVE REIGN, SUPREME, NOW AND ALWAYS
MAY WE WELCOME JOY AS THE EVERFLOWING RIVER THAT NOURISHES US, INSIDE OUT
<3 <3 <3
WORK WITH ME
Here to disrupt and dismantle these old systems that has never harmoniously served us in our growth and evolution,
Here to support us I AM, in our collective thriving.
Here to activate some immeasurable miraculous wonder ways of
JOY, BEAUTY, LOVE, UNITY TOGETHER I AM.
I have online and in person journeys mapped out to serve your highest and greatest joy with me walking alongside you, in sacred circles of more. Together we are stronger!
Happy also I will be, to tend to some inner work together, explore customizing your personal joyous, empowering soul journey in 1-1s too.
Reach out, comment & share yourself with me, us, share this with more if you find this will nourish & nurture someone else.
In service and love